Some hotels run their valet service in-house, but most hotels contract their valet services to another company.
When you lose the control — by contracting the valet work — the crazies move in.
When I first moved to La La land, I actually considered valeting cars. I figured, “Hey, I’m in Hollywood. I’m sure people are generous, and it’s a great networking environment.”
Think Again!
I worked valet at one of L.A.’s premier hotels and quit after just two days.
Valets are one of the most underpaid and under-tipped positions on the job market. It is amazing that these guys can survive, let alone show up to work, day-in-and-out to deal with the same hogwash.
Valets have to deal with flashy cars driven by cheap wannabees, constantly run back and forth to their parking garages, and of course run the constant risk of losing their jobs over any guest complaint.
Enough days under those conditions, and anyone is bound to go off the deep end. A few screws will loosen. And soon you just won’t give a shit about anything. Trust me.
That being said, the valet is definitely a person you want to tip when you drop off your car AND when you pick it up. Depending on the car, this can be anywhere from three dollars to twenty dollars each way.
Some of you may say, “But, I paid $40 for my parking. I don’t have to tip.” This isn’t about getting the valet company rich. This is about preserving your car. The valet company owner isn’t parking your car. The valet is.
And, truthfully, if you are that worried about the cost of valet services, you probably shouldn’t be out spending money in the first place. Got me?
Working with valets, I learned very quickly, they have a few tricks up their sleeves for ungrateful guests. Sound familiar?
One valet recently informed me of one of their usual payback techniques. Let’s call it The Gear Annihilation. If a guest is unruly and ungrateful for his service, a valet will roll the car forward at about 5-10 miles per hour, and abruptly shift the car into reverse. Apparently the technique works wonders, because it doesn’t immediately destroy the gears, but sets up the eventual decline.
Tricky, tricky, huh?
You may say, “That’s my car man! They have no right.”
I’m a car owner. I feel ya. But now you know: Tip the guy who will be taking your car, or else face the consequences…
The aforementioned valet had been around the block for years. He’s worked at several places around Los Angeles and had arrived at our current place of employment nine years ago.
He was very off. Deathly skinny, an addict of some sort, a native of the South and would often ramble on about government conspiracies. His favorite car was a classic Porsche.
How he got the job? I don’t know. But this is a prime example of who is parking your Aston Martin.
I would talk to him from time to time to check in. And one day, out of the blue, he went on a heated rant about management.
“These bastards are stealing my money. They don’t know how to run anything. They just put their unqualified cousins in the open slot. I can’t stand them,” he said.
“Have you ever tried to apply for management or work during the day?” I said
“No,” He says.
“Why not?” I ask.
“I prefer to work alone, away from all of them. Besides, if they fire me I have about 3 months of vacation saved up.” He mumbles.
“Vacation time. What is he talking about?” I didn’t ask him about vacation time. “Why is he talking about getting fired?” I thought.
“Don’t worry about them. You’ll be fine,” I say.
I nodded and walked away.
Well, two weeks pass and I didn’t see this strange, familiar face. What in the world happened to this nine-year veteran of valet services at my hotel.
I finally get word: He stole some loot.
Every valet knows the trick. You just have to be smart about it or you’re toast.
Instead of giving the guests new valet tickets every time someone would park, this valet would reuse an old valet ticket and pocket the money from the sale. Thus leaving out any trace of the missing money.
The problem is: Many valet companies have random auditors that go out to their parking sites at a moment’s notice to check for such behavior. My skinny friend was caught., and admitted his sin when pinched about it,
Apparently he had been doing this every night, probably two times a shift, five days a week, for nine years. At $40 dollars a pop. That comes out to approximately $187, 200.00. And that’s just at my hotel.
Not bad for pocket change.
The last thing I remember about this valet was his odd grin and an uncontrolled laugh.
I have a good feeling he’s sunbathing somewhere in Mexico at this moment. He’s probably reminiscing on the deck of his yacht about the good ‘ol valet days and how times have changed.
His servant comes to his side and poses him with the toughest decision he’ll make that day : The lobster tail or the filet mignon?