If you don’t have a room in my hotel or you’re not willing to fork over hundreds, even thousands, of dollars for bottle service, this next bit’s for you.
Maybe you’re a frequent traveler, maybe you’re a local with impeccable tastes; either way, you know that the hottest hotels in a city usually have some of the hottest clubs in town.
The policy for the hotels I have worked for is pretty straight forward: If you have a room, you and four guests can get into the hotel club. If you don’t, you’re shit out of luck. That is unless you’re good looking, finely dressed and ready to shell out a very high car payment/ low mortgage on a $35 bottle of alcohol.
Every night there is a multitude of complainers who come to the front desk whining, crying (literally), arguing and/or yelling like they own the place and we care. Every attempt to get into the BAR has been made. I have seen and heard every trick in the book. It gets old and boring for us real quick.
So, if you are smart and reading my blog, I’m going to give you the best advice you’ve ever received. And here’s the catch, you probably already knew it. It was just so simple, you didn’t use it.
RULE 1
First thing first, unless you definitely know the G.M. of the bar or managers working, DO NOT use their names to the doorman. A good doorman remembers faces like the C.I.A remembers terrorists. You will be blackballed, remembered for ever and dismissed like a piece of trash blowing in the wind. I’m not kidding.
RULE 2
Dress with class. Gentlemen, that means nice jeans or slacks with a blazer or fashionable button down. DO NOT wear excessive patterned shirts (cough, Ed Hardy), tons of cologne or sneakers that a homeless man wouldn’t wear. Ladies, just look damn sexy. Not slutty sexy. You will be mistaken for a call girl and rejected, otherwise. Again, most of you probably know this, but you would be surprised how many douchebags don’t.
RULE 3
Be yourself. Not some cocky prick or shy loser. Approach the doorman with a confident stride and smile. Look into his eyes. If things aren’t too crazy at the door. Introduce yourself and ask his name. Tell him how good you heard the club was and you’re looking to have a good time.
RULE 4
Assess the doorman. If he is friendly, you may be able to stroll right into the club with no questions asked. If he is standoffish, tell him you will take care of him. And do so discreetly. On average, you should be tipping a doorman anywhere from $20 to $100 a person, depending on the night, your group and how cool the door guy is. The main thing here is to be confident, cool, and discreet. If you waive money or make a scene, you can guarantee you are not getting in. And if you promise to tip and then don’t, may God save you.
RULE 5
Once you do get in have fun. Drink. And be respectful of the club and its patrons. If you make a stink, you will be tossed quicker than California’s budget. And guess what, never allowed back. Blackballed!
RULE 6
On your way out of the club, find the doorman who helped you out. Thank him by his name. Let him know how great of a time you had and say hopefully you’ll see him soon.
So now you’re no longer bitching, whining, or complaining. You’re in, Hollywood. You made it past the velvet rope. And the world is your oyster!
You can thank me later.